Resorts offer ‘Sex on the Beach’ travel packages (we know you’ve done it free for years)

Knock boots on a beach cabana at Sonesta Ocean Point - if you've got at least $1,789 for four nights.

So you like having sex on the beach? Now you can pay to do it (even though if you’re from Miami, we’re pretty sure you’ve been doing it all along).

CheapCaribbean.com is offering tourists a way to bump uglies on the sand (or at least near the sand – sometimes the sand is not a particularly pleasant thing when uglies are bumped).

The website is highlighting a couple of new “Sex on the Beach” packages at resorts in Jamaica, St. Martin and Mexico that include a few nights at a luxury resort, various perks and an evening (or a couple of hours, at least) in a private beachside cabana for a romantic encounter, although presumably you could play backgammon there if you felt like it.

The idea is, of course, that a couple can get freaky on the beach with a degree of privacy and not worry about cops busting in to kill the mood.

But you better have bucks. The package at the Sonesta Ocean Point in St. Martin includes airfare, four nights in the Rooftop Butler Suite, a romantic dinner and four hours in a private cabana and costs $1,749 for two if you fly from a New York airport.

If you’re already here in South Florida and want to get busy, consider one of the other packages for two adults that include flights from Fort Lauderdale:

Get it on at Jewel Dunn’s River Beach Resort & Spa in Jamaica.

 

Jewel Dunn’s River Beach Resort & Spa in Jamaica: Four nights in the Sapphire Ocean View Room and four hours in a cabana with sparkling wine and petit four will set you back around $999.

 

At Desire Riviera Maya Pearl Resort, you can snack on chocolate strawberries while you slap sloppies.

 

Desire Riviera Maya Pearl Resort in Mexico: Four nights in the master suite and four hours in cabana with wine or champagne and chocolate strawberries for $1,749.

 

Nothing but blue skies under which to do the wild thing at the Grand Oasis Sens in Cancun.

 

Grand Oasis Sens in Cancun, Mexico: Four nights in the Oasis Sian Ka’an Club Room with private plunge pool, which presumably you can also have sex in if you want but please don’t tell us about it, four hours in a beach cabana and a couples massage for $1,149.

For restrictions and more information, click here. And happy romping.

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