A $400 seafood platter and a champagne parade for $8,640? This restaurant’s luxury menu is making us feel poor.

Want to blow a lot of money on dinner? Of course you do. Villa Azur has you covered. Me, I'm just going to pick up a Publix sub.

By now, you have probably purchased so many $100 burgers you’re sick of them. And sadly, the $750 margarita is no longer available.

But spending ridiculous amounts of money on food and drink is your right as an American, and Villa Azur in Miami Beach wants to help you feel superior. Here are a few ways to go about it:

  • Before you even get started on ordering dinner, order the Le Tremendous platter ($400), which declares war on sea creatures by serving up 24 oysters, 16 clams, eight tiger prawns, two jumbo shrimp, two Maine lobsters and six shots of beluga vodka. Maybe the vodka will help you forget you just spent $400.
  • Act like that appetizer isn’t exclusive enough and throw in the Russian Royal Ossetra caviar (a bargain at $750).
  • Wash it all down with a bottle of Chateau Petrus Pomerol 1994 ($6,000). On a budget? There’s always the Chateau Margeaux, Grand Classe Magaux 1990 (so much more affordable at $4,450).
  • Celebrating a special occasion? That calls for bubbly! Maybe the Jeroboam Dom Perignon Rose 1996 ($12,000) or a less costly champagne parade of 10 bottles of Dom Perignon Rose for $8,640
  • Order whatever you want for dinner, even if it’s a side salad, because by now our class issues are raging, and we all loathe you.  

After you’ve spent all this time and money showing off your ability to rack up credit card debt, stroll around Villa Azur’s private museum – yes, it has a private museum – and view works like Brone Karl Lagasse’s “One Dollar” sculpture. If you want to buy it, you better have more than one dollar. It’s $150,000. 

Smugly view Villa Azur’s private museum, which includes works like ‘One Dollar’ by Brone Karl Lagasse.