Siggy Flicker did it all for love. Or the prospect of love. The matchmaker and star of VH1’s Why Am I Still Single? was living the dream. Married to a handsome wealthy man. Two kids. Nannies. Country club in Boca Raton. Fabulous closet. But something was missing: the spark. “We grew apart,’’ she says simply. “I was not going to live in a loveless marriage.’’ Blame it on Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams.
The turning point was seeing The Notebook, and bawling. “I wanted that one-on-one chemistry and interaction,’’ says Flicker, who met her ex husband at a Jewish singles’ party at The Forge in 1997. “He was great: Funny, classy, tall. He had all the characteristics I look for in a man.’’ Their divorce was amicable, no lawyers. When they both moved back to the Tristate area, Flicker even set her ex up with his current mate. “I was brave enough to walk away,’’ says the New Jersey who lives in Tenafly. The payoff was big:
Five years ago Siggy went out with a friend to an Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side and met her soul mate, Michael Campanella, who owns a car dealership. They are to be married in May. The road wasn’t so smooth. Campanella had just gone through a nasty divorce and wasn’t doing well professionally. “Everyone told me, ‘Siggy, go you find yourself a nice Jewish man.’ But to me it wasn’t about his wallet. I admired and respected this person. That’s all you need.’’ As a matchmaker for more than 20 years, Siggy talks the talk. “Too many people listen to their moms and dads and friends telling them who they should and shouldn’t be with, and then they end up lonely and depressed.’’ Another problem Flicker is seeing with singletons: they don’t want to put in the work. “Everyone’s getting lazier and lazier,’’ she complains. “We have our computers and laptops and iPads. No one’s going outside using their minds. It’s the same in the dating world. Everyone is so complacent in their misery.’’
Her advice: Get out there at least twice a week. Take a course. Volunteer. “Get outside of your bubble,’’ she advises. “Just like you get up every day and brush your teeth and put on your clothes. It’s work, and love is more important than work, at least for me.’’ And never be a Debbie or Donnie Downer: “Don’t go on a date and tell everyone how miserable you are, don’t talk about your ex lover, don’t mention that the doctor just upped your Prozac.’’ She admits that we in Miami have a slight disadvantage over the rest of the nation. South Beach is a scene and the competition is fierce. “It’s the model capital and is absolutely very, very difficult,’’ she says. “But every city has quality people. Don’t go to the clubs or the Boom Boom Room to meet The One. Take a class or something; that’s where things start to happen.’’