There are things people in Miami never do. Here are a few of them.

You don't even want to know how long we leave up our Christmas lights.

There are many things people in Miami do constantly. We brag about our cuisine. Take endless photos at Wynwood Walls. Complain about the heat. Tell you how happy we are that Dwyane Wade came back to Miami.

But there are some things we never do. And we’re not sure why.

People in Miami never:

Use turn signals

There’s truth in the stereotype.Roberto Koltun

Being spontaneous is fun! Why signal your intentions when you can surprise everyone around you by cutting across four lanes of traffic to make a left turn?

Park for free

Download the app and fork over your money.

You can’t even go to the library in some parts of South Florida without having to pay for parking. (Looking at you, South Miami.)

Take down our Christmas decorations in a timely fashion

This photo was taken yesterday.

They might get around to the blow up Santas and snowmen by the end of January. The lights, though? They’ll be up until Memorial Day.

Go anywhere near our pools from October until June

If that water is not 80 degrees, we’re not going in.

Out of town guests may jump in. But not us. And no, we’re not going in the ocean, either. Call us when it’s hot enough to fry eggs on the hoods of our Toyotas.

Own decent coats or enough socks

What are these things?

We’re not wasting our mimosa money on something we only use once a year.

Open our windows

Nobody in Miami understands what’s happening here.

Is it a perfect Florida winter day with a high of 70 and no humidity? Too bad. We’re not turning off the a/c and letting in the fresh air.

Prepare for hurricanes before they’re bearing down on us

We know we should. And yet we still are moving those last two AA batteries between the TV remote and the flashlight.

Pick up our dog’s poop

Poop bags cover a trash heap in Coral Gables. If this happens in the Gables, you know it happens in your janky neighborhood.

This is a real problem. Even if we stop to pick it up, we drop it on someone’s lawn. Gross.

Eat on Lincoln Road or Ocean Drive

Only one in 800 people on Lincoln Road are locals, and yes, we totally made up that statistic.

We’ve surrendered these spots to the tourists. There are simply too many of them. We’ll go to Sunset Harbour instead.

(Visited 561 times, 2 visits today)