Being a sports mascot in South Florida is tough. You have to work hard to inspire cynical fans who hate losing and demand a championship run every year.
Our mascots are up to the task. Like Burnie of the Miami Heat, who acts like that old friend of yours who drinks a little too much beer and remains a little too obsessed with his college days but always provides you with a good time.
Then there’s Sebastian the Ibis, cruelly maligned for looking too much like a cranky duck. But he’s the heart and soul of the Miami Hurricanes. Miami fans have forgotten Stanley C Panther up in Sunrise – did you even know he has a sidekick now? And then there’s poor Billy the Marlin, who tirelessly tries to bring joy to up to 200 baseball fans at every home game during the season.
But there are so many more mascots! Like Owlsley the Owl. No, seriously, he’s a South Florida mascot. What does it mean if you love him best?
Here. Let us tell you what we know about you via your favorite mascot.
Sebastian the Ibis (University of Miami)
You use the word “swagger” unironically and have made a turnover chain out of paper clips.
You have a Dan Marino commemorative item in your home.
You will shed real tears at Dwyane Wade‘s final home game.
Billy the Marlin (Marlins)
Stanley C Panther (Panthers)
You live in Broward.
Viktor the Rat (Panthers)
You live in west Broward.
The Miami Maniac
Your kid plays UM baseball.
Obie (Orange Bowl)
You live in another state.
Roary the Panther (FIU)
You have also made a turnover chain out of paper clips, only you cried a little when you did it.
Bucky the Parrot (Barry University)
You are probably more interested in sports medicine than actual sports.
The Sunblazer (FIU – retired)
You are old.
Owlsley the Owl (FAU)
You secretly hate sports.