Nine ways to silence the haters next time they trash Miami

Everybody thinks their city is the best. Even Cleveland and Tallahassee probably think they’re pretty great. (Miami editor’s note: They are not.)

But Miami really is the best. Even when it isn’t. And frequently it isn’t. Trust us on that.

Still, there are things that make Miami special, things that keep us here despite all the reasons we have to hate it.

The weather


The beaches

See above.

No state taxes

No state tax? No problem.

Our natural disasters are predictable

None of this nonsense of sirens going off mere moments before a tsunami or a tornado bears down on us. No earth opening up to swallow our highways. Just weeks of stress and waiting until the last minute to buy supplies.

Read more: Did Miami learn anything from hurricane season?

Our people watching is the best

Tomas Loewy

It’s particularly good on Halloween. But this guy is out walking around most days, we’d bet.

The food

From seafood to croquetas to Key lime pie, we’ve got it all.

The Miami Heat

Herald archives

We got our DWade back for his final season and we don’t care what happens. We remain #305TilWeDie.

We actually do have culture, but you can ignore it if you want

You can see opera, ballet, theater or modern dance at our lovely Adrienne Arsht Center in downtown Miami. You can see world class art at the Perez Art Museum or see the best authors on the planet at the Miami Book Fair in November. Or you can ignore it all and stay home, drink beer and watch sports on TV, and nobody will judge you.

Someday we’re all going to have waterfront property

A little more climate change, a few more King Tides and boom! Your house in Kendall is waterfront property.