I love Miami. If you don’t travel during rush hour (most of the day) and learn some Spanish, it really is lovely. I mean that. So please do not deport me for being honest, but I have a few confessions.
1. I needed croquetas explained to me
What are those dark, jumbo-Cheeto-looking things and why haven’t I ever had one in my mouth?
2. I've never been to a Miami Heat game
Not before the Big Three. Not after Dwyane Wade. Just never. What am I missing?
3. I forget the difference between a cafecito and a cortadito
I know this will get me kicked out, but I thought it was all just coffee. NEVER say this at your local cafecito window in Hialeah.
4. I only just started liking flop
I didn’t grow up in the South, so I wasn’t too keen on sweet tea. When flop — or a mixture of sweet tea and lemonade — was introduced to me, I wasn’t so sure. You can find this drink in any of Miami’s predominantly black neighborhoods. (Or at Chik-fil-A, where it’s called an Arnold Palmer).
5. I can't keep up with all these Miami dances
Turn the dial to any of Miami’s urban radio stations during lunch hours and you’ll hear the upbeat, often pitch-altered tunes by local artists. What you might not know is there is literally a cannon of dances for each of these rythmic tunes: jook, wig, stickin’ and rollin’, bobble walk, just to name a few. What I do know is that I simply cannot keep up.