Here’s what we wish Hurricane Irma would have destroyed in Miami

One good blast of wind might have blown this eyesore into the bay - but no.

Here in Miami, we are grateful that the full fury of Hurricane Irma was not unleashed on us.

But we do have a few bones to pick with her. She caused destruction and havoc – but not to any of the things we wanted.

Here’s what we wish she would have taken out:

1. Pythons

Do you want to see this thing in your toilet one night? I didn’t think so.

They haunt our dreams, and nothing else kills them in bulk. Maybe Irma could have tried harder.

2. Iguanas

I’m here to eat all the bird eggs and poop near your pool.

Yes, we know some of you love South Florida’s big, colorful lizards, but they are an imported nuisance, and there are way too many of them. Also, they poop on your pool deck.

3. Your neighbor's ugly fountain

They’re all still

Not even hurricane force winds can wipe out so much ugly.

4. Your dumb yacht that we will never be invited to board

Have you ever been to a party on a yacht? I’m sure it’s really boring.

That goes for you, too, Mark Cuban.

5. Every mango tree in the county

First thing we do, let’s kill all the mangoes.

A lot of them went down. But not enough. [Editor’s note: No one else at agrees with this one; the author is a well-known anti mango activist.]

6. The Miami Marlins' home run statue

A work of art it is not.

The county won’t let new owner Derek Jeter bulldoze it. If only he’d left the stadium roof open.