At The Christmas Palace, you will find the most Miami holiday decorations EVER

The Christmas Palace offers a year-round, magical holiday world, and we want to live there so we can be happy always.

Finally, Miami! We can now fully embrace the holiday season at The Christmas Palace.

We embrace it all year long, of course. But it’s especially perfect now.

This amazing yet still charmingly ratchet store, nestled amid warehouses and sanity-crushing traffic on the Palmetto, is probably the only reason to go to Hialeah Gardens. But it’s a good reason. Every holiday item imaginable is here. There are also a few things you may not have imagined. Or wanted to imagine.

All we know is The Christmas Palace is Miami as hell. And we’ve got the photos to prove it.

Even Mrs. Claus has implants

There’s no way to say this delicately: Mrs. Claus is stacked. She clearly left the North Pole to have some work done. And who can blame her? In Miami, you need to be bikini-ready year round.

Flamingos in the Christmas tree

Partridge? What the hell is a partridge? In Miami we prefer flamingos in our giant fake-ass Christmas trees, which are freqently pastel. We reserve the right to be pastel as hell.

Our stuffed deer heads are blinged out

Look, if you’re going to have a stuffed reindeer head on your wall – or sticking out of your tree – it may as well be a sparkly deer head.

Ornaments that make us feel our lifestyle is superior

We don’t want tinsel and boring glass balls. We want something that’s going to remind us we can be outside on the water any damn time we want.

The Three Wise Men are pimped out

We’re not sure, but we think the same person who designed their outfits here also designed your daughter’s quinces dress.

This amazing chandelier

Who needs mistletoe overhead when you’ve got this fancy revolving chandelier? You could leave this up year round – if you were Lady Gaga.

Margaritaville dioramas instead of traditional Nativity scenes

You can be sure there are no virgins in this display.