Lapis Spa

Getting rained on probably isn’t your idea of relaxation. Fontainebleau’s Lapis Spa thinks differently – and they’re prepped to swivel your summer shower sentiments 180 degrees. Featuring hydrotherapy treatments ranging from the trademark Bleau Rain Room to an Energy Deluge Shower, Lapis Spa embraces the essence of what makes up 60 percent of your body and about the same percentage of South Florida’s summer weather.

Latin for ‘mineral’ (not Spanish for ‘pencil’), Lapis stays true to what its title suggests – namely, earthy things. The spa offers a Eucalyptus (skin-friendly plant with a nice-sounding name) infused steam, as well as Hammam (Turkish variant for sauna) benches that are made of solid white and grey marble and are heated to body temperature. On the subject of body temperature, just about everything in Lapis seems to accommodate our hot-blooded needs – even the towel racks are heated to make robes extra flesh-friendly.

Trained to exude ‘friendly’, the spa connoisseurs at Lapis emphasize the details that make the experience, well, unlike daily life. For example, the massage rooms have rubber padded floors to dull sound and make things really, really quiet (something I’d like to adopt every time I listen to the passing-by chatter of flip-flops or the excessive clacking of heels). Lapis offers other very particular accommodations that I didn’t even think of desiring (a lack of imagination, I suppose) but that now seem indispensable to my bathroom, such as a mineral jet bath set at 104°F and infused with a red seaweed extract that provides vital nutrients to the body. Apparently, I’ve been lacking in ‘vital’ nutrients all along.

And then there’s the rain. More than just some sort of chemically induced relaxation treatment, Lapis’ Elements Rain Tunnel is an attraction at its core. It’s like the fountains at Disneyworld that spout water from the floor, except the other way around – and of course, the streams come in warm and cool temperatures and at varied strengths to massage the body with jets of greatness – but otherwise, just like Disney. Offering yet another hyperbolic version of a childhood indulgence, the Fontainebleau’s gym (complimentary to Lapis treatments) has a Trazer trainer, which was described several times as a cracked-out Nintendo Wii or a Wii on steroids. And, in fact, that’s exactly what it is. Although the immediate results resembled those of hard labor more readily than amphetamines, apparently it gets you super fit.

So Miami Spa Month is here – meaning that reading the previous paragraphs doesn’t merely pose a daydream scenario for those who, let’s say, can’t afford to spend a night at the Fontainebleau (much less think of hanging out at its super posh spa). Miami Spa Month, aka July, is a slice of the year during which participating spas around South Florida lower their rates and open their doors to eager, tense-muscled crowds.

In lieu of the month’s festivities, Lapis is offering several signature treatments for $99 this year. Massages and facials alike, the treatments can be turned into full-on spa escapades by taking advantage of Lapis’ Water Journeys features (a few mentioned above) – as well as the lavishly stocked gym, a charming shop with all the creams and scents you’ll never need, and the so-SoFla Fontainebleau poolside. 

Spa month excludes none – even those who (myself included) secretly take pride in rejecting generic Miami-esque excess. So cross the bridge, pay $7 valet, and just add water.


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