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Speed Racer (PG) *
Speed Racer is such a dull, clunky, joyless mess, it's hard to believe the people who made it understand much about movies.
In this image released by Warner Bros., Emile Hirsch stars as Speed Racer.
By Rene Rodriguez, Miami Herald
Were Larry and Andy Wachowski just really, really lucky when they made The Matrix? Speed Racer, the brothers' live-action, special-effects intensive adaptation of the beloved TV cartoon, is such a dull, clunky, joyless mess, it's hard to believe the people who made it understand much about movies.
For example: Hundreds of talented artists spent thousands of hours working on the film's racing sequences, which are entirely computer animated. During all that time, didn't anyone ever notice how boring they all are? In Speed Racer, cars fly through the air spinning like throwing stars, smashing and crashing into each other as if they were engaged in physical combat. The Mach 5, Speed's souped-up car, looks exactly as it did on TV, only it's more photo realistic. There is even the introduction of a Mach 6, which should make anyone who grew up watching the cartoon series over breakfast on school mornings crack a little smile of anticipation.
The races, which are practically the only times Speed Racer ever comes to life, have absolutely zero relationship to reality or physics -- the cartoon, too, featured automobiles doing things beyond the scope of most Lexuses -- but the Wachowskis push things to such extremes that the races become endurance tests. The brothers are attempting to approximate the surreal, anything-goes visual rush of top-shelf anime: So much color and light and information flits by your eyes, you can't possibly take it all in.
But the effect isn't transcendent or exciting: It's just annoying, like being stuck inside a pinball machine. And the artificiality of the effects, which are simultaneosly cutting-edge and intentionally cheesy, only serve to distance you further from the movie. More than once, the sight of fake cars racing around fake tracks in Speed Racer reminded me of the light-cycles from Tron, minus the gee-whiz factor. I feel sorry for anyone who sits through this picture in IMAX.
The Wachowskis have repeatedly described Speed Racer as a kids' movie, which it obviously is. But that does not excuse the film's utter lack of storyline, or its needless overuse of flashbacks, or the fact that the villain -- a greedy racing promoter who wants to raise his company's stock prices -- is such a convoluted, talky chump. The movie has the same draggy, going-around-in-circles feel as the two Matrix sequels: It is amazing that the Wachowskis, whose first film, Bound, sported such a tight, clever, devious script, seem to have lost all their screenwriting instincts.
The actors -- Emile Hirsch as Speed, Christina Ricci as his girlfriend Trixie, John Goodman as his racing-obsessed father Pops, Susan Sarandon as his nurturing mom, and Paulie Litt as his little brother Spritle -- all fare fine, recreating the essence of their cartoon counterparts while grounding them in a less-exaggerated reality that allows the theme of family to shine through. The best scene in Speed Racer is not about cars, but about the Racer family -- with the help of the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox), who may or may not be Speed's older brother -- teaming up to smack down a pack of bad guys. The movie, like the TV show, values the importance of familial bonds, and the camaraderie and discord among kin is one of the things the Wachowskis nail down best.
But the rest of Speed Racer joins the ranks of Steven Spielberg's Hook, Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Barry Levinson's Toys as large-scale, elaborate children's movies memorable primarily for their misguidedness. This overlong, visually striking film barely leaves an impression after it's over: It's a shockingly empty piece of entertainment. The Wachowskis' cinematic stylings are formidable, but in Speed Racer, there is nothing to go along with them.
Cast: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon, Paulie Litt, Matthew Fox, Roger Allam, Kick Gurry
Writers-directors: Larry and Andy Wachowski
Producers: Joel Silver, Grant Hill
A Warner Bros. Pictures release. Running time: 135 minutes. Mock violence.
| Average rating based on 1 review. |
What you said
One star? Really? I have no idea what the writer was expecting but this was a hit for me. It ended up being much better than I expected.Yes, it's a kid's movie with a kid's story about a kid's show. But face it; the folks that watched or knew about Speed Racer back in the day are also going to love it. The characters are fun and true to form. John Goodman, especially, really captures some of Pops’ mannerisms and expressions. The graphics are sublime, absolutely insanely amazing. They did not skimp on visuals. The acting is solid even if it isn't a story telling masterpiece of dramatic fiction. Speed Racer will never join the elite ranks of those weird, but admittedly often interesting, indie flicks on IFC. This is simple good fun about an anime racecar driver, his family and his super cool car. But if the peek into young Speed loving and losing his brother doesn’t tug a heartstring or two, then I feel a little sad for you.As for the feeling of feeling of being stuck in a pinball machine. Wow! I'd say it was worth every penny of my excessively priced ticket. There's no Cloverfield motion sickness, comfy padded seats, but you still get a ton of roller coaster race thrill rides. Do the Wachowski's toss out anything resembling the laws of physics? Absolutely. What kind of Mach 5 would it be if it couldn't drive up the side of a tunnel or fly through jumps while fighting it out with the other drivers’ cars? What if it was powered by some kind of stock car engine? Hey, this isn't Days of Thunder.As for the colors and visual excess? Mission accomplished. It is over the top gorgeous. There is so much to see in these bright and colorful scenes that everyone has different things to talk about after. Personally, I can’t wait for the Blu-ray. Fun fun fun!... Read more
