Real Housewives of Miami – the finale

 

Make a lot of popcorn: The Real Housewives of Miami finale starts at 10 p.m. Tuesday — and will last an hour and a half.

Make a lot of popcorn: The Real Housewives of Miami finale starts at 10 p.m. Tuesday — and will last an hour and a half.

Things really heat up (literally) in the last episode, when the six women trudge through Paradise Farms in the Redlands, attend yet another fancy meal and do what they do best: snipe at each other.

According to castmate Marysol Patton, “Things really get defined as to who doesn’t like who. The lines are drawn in the sand. Even I have an opinion.’’ Wow. The ever-so-political PR queen, whose colorful mom Elsa has become the unspoken star of the show, is the only “housewife” to come out of this thing smelling like a rose (minus a slight DUI issue).

Intentional. “I don’t like to pick on people; I pick on myself,” Patton says.

Can’t say the same for the other ladies – Cristy Rice, Larsa Pippen, Lea Black, Adriana de Moura and Alexia Echevarria. All were involved in some icky imbroglios and are probably happy to see the show wrap, possibly for good (Bravo spokeswoman Alana McElroy said there’s no decision about a season 2).

Cristy likely fared the worst. After arriving sans ticket to Black’s gala (which is coming up again this weekend) with two pals, she became target número uno. Furious, Black later invoiced the ex-wife of basketball star Glenn Rice, and the issue never died. Rice voiced her disappointment on Facebook: “[U]nlike the other 5 girls they NEVER showed you MY business (BriBri Boutique of which i have had for over 10 years) nor any scenes with my family or my friends. SIMPLY TIX DRAMA.’’

Pippen, wife of superstar basketball player Scottie Pippen, came in a disastrously close second, telling the world “she slept better’’ after firing a nanny or two. She also failed to show up at key promotional events, such as the show’s launch party at the Eden Roc, at which she could have told her side of the story.

De Moura was often portrayed as a ditzy flirt who arrived late to almost every event, including her own gallery opening. She blamed the fact that she had to do her own hair and makeup (apparently Bravo only pays for housewives’ pampering in season 2).

And poor Echevarria came down with a bad case of stiletto in mouth disease, calling Hialeah residents “lower people.’’ The Venue magazine editor was in Bravo-imposed lockdown after locals freaked.

“She is still devastated,’’ Patton says of her friend, and calls her a “really sweet person.’’

We’ll have to take her word on that.

Madeleine Marr

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