Spin, Spin Sugar
Remember when people used to dance in nightclubs? A decade or so ago, before texting replaced shouting above the sound system, people used to get all worked up and worked out in clubs. Today it's like a self-imposed Footloose, where dancing is as much a relic as the portable CD player. Over at Equinox South Beach, it's the best of both words at 6:30 p.m. Tuesday, May 15 when a free Mix N' Ride cycling class featuring DJ Mr. Sandman and instructor Michael Gregg promises to get you moving so much more than you did last night at LIV when you overexerted yourself to grab your drink off the bar and reply to that text from across the room. For those who make excuses for everything, there's even free parking for up to two hours at the Equinox garage on 5th Street. RSVP by calling 305-673-1172 or emailing email@example.com.
Jam on It
Straight off their maiden voyage on the Jam Cruise, South Florida’s acclaimed band The Heavy Pets perform at 9 p.m. at The Stage on Friday, May 11. The show is the first since the band’s 'Swim Out Past the Sun' record release party back in October. For the uninitiated, The Heavy Pets fuse r&b, jazz-funk, and reggae fusion with rock and roll. They’ve also been known to collaborate with legends such as longtime Jerry Garcia collaborator David Grisman. Joining them are special guests, NYC-based rock band The London Souls. Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door. For more information go to www.thestagemiami.com.
Bidding ‘I Do’?
A different sort of show takes place from 5:30 p.m. to 8 p.m. on Thursday, May 17 at The Stage when Switchboard of Miami, Inc.'s Women's Leadership Council throws its first bachelor auction fundraiser in which women can bid on allegedly eligible bachelors and or if they aren’t up to par, some silent auction items that may not require as much maintenance. Ticket donation is $30 for pre-registered bidders, $35 for pre-registered non-bidders, or $50 at the door and includes appetizers, drinks and prizes. To register or to pre-stalk the bachelors (who do look pretty good on paper—er, computer, rather), go here.
They'll House You
Contrary to popular belief, House, that yet-to-open nightclub in Wynwood, is actually opening at some point and will preview itself at the decidedly unclubby hours of 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, May 12 as a pop-up lounge of sorts at GAB Studio, 105 NW 23rd Street. The preview will include booze and House's "signature Silver Girls." As for House itself, a press release touts it as the second coming of clubland, saying "Set to be the most technologically advanced nightclub of its kind, the nightclub will feature 3D architectural mapping, making it seem to HOUSE-goers as if they are in a desert, ocean or jungle. HOUSE is also set to be a performance venue, with local artists and performers taking center stage. Whether spending 50k or 50 dollars, Mark Lowe has designed HOUSE to make every partygoer feel right at home."
Celebrating an unprecedented (in these parts) 15 years in biz, The Globe has earned its ‘venerable’ tag and will wear it proudly starting at 4 p.m. Friday, May 11 with its 9th annual Global CubaLibre Fest. This block party isn’t your typical Globe happy hour, which often draws crowds large enough to classify as a festival, but nothing like this freebie, at which live performances by Luis Enrique and Conjunto Progreso are expected to attract hordes of people looking to drink and dance in the streets. The party moves indoors around midnight when DJ Nelly takes over the soundtrack.
Shaken & Stirred
The recent bust of Jose L. Alberto, the lead code compliance inspector for the City of Miami Beach, four Miami Beach code compliance officers--Willie E. Grant, Orlando E. Gonzalez, Ramon D. Vasallo, Vicente L. Santiesteban, and two Miami Beach firefighters, Henry L. Bryant and Chai D. Footman, for their participation in a scheme to extort cash payments from Dolce Ultra Lounge on South Beach, and of Miami Dade cop Daniel L. Mack, along with Bryant for their participation in a drug trafficking conspiracy in which they agreed to “transport and protect what they believed to be multiple kilograms of cocaine from a Miami Beach club,” says a US State Attorney’s Office press release has frazzled the nerves of many clubland players. According to an insider, “That extortion racket bust is going to touch everyone. The firefighter caught running coke is singing like a canary. He claimed he’s been running his scam for 12 years. Feds take their time knowing that people are sweating. I’m sure there’s a ton of paranoia in the nightlife biz right now.”