Tonight's episode did little else besides establish that Angelina is a compulsive liar and that The Situation is, for reasons unknown, a chick magnet.
The show starts off with a double date between Ronnie, Sammi, Angelina and Jose at La Locanda, apparenty the only Italian restaurant on South Beach. Sammi and Ronnie mutter to each other about how Angelina is playing poor Jose ("like a piano") and that they will have to be careful around her. You think?
She even takes Jose to the smash room, but refuses to give him some sugar because she claims she's on her period. The Situation confirms that fact when he finds evidence (in the form of a used maxi pad) in the bathroom. Angelina, you are nasty. He takes the evidence and sticks it under her pillow. This sets off a fight that takes place in front of some unfortunate (yet, very cute) guy Angelina and her visiting friend Gina brought home from the beach.
The episode closes with Angelina smacking the Situation. How will he respond to this physical violence? Tune in next week.
How romantic: Ronnie takes the flowers that Vinnie had planned to give to Ramona (the girl who stood him up) from the smash room and gives them to Sammi, who looks more grossed out than pleased.
Smash room flowers: "God only knows what's on these. You got my children on there, Mike's children. You got Snooki juice."
Product OD: Pauly D, "How the hell did I wake up and my hair's still done. I'm smart." No, you are not. You have too much gel in your hair.
WTF: Why did Angelina lie and say she got busy with Jose when everyone already thinks she's, to quote Snooki, a loosy goose? She is pathological.
Good to know: Pauly D is pleased with his new squeeze. "Rocio's cool. She's definitely not a hoe and she's not a stalker."
How much?: Snooki and JWoww go to Nail Lounge to get their nails done. "There goes 200 dollars," says Snooki.
Make up boogars: JWoww's visiting boyfriend Tom finds someone's phone number in her notebook. He decides to leave right away. JWoww charms him by picking his nose and all is forgiven.
Body image: Angelina puts a tiny mini skirt that her mom sent her in front of her and says "Is this going to be too big for me?"
Phrase of the day: "It's T-shirt time!" The boys sing this in a chorus as they prepare for a night of fist pumping.
Fist pumping: Dream, where Angelina dances with the guy that Snooki hooked up with a few episodes ago. "You love my sloppy seconds", says Snooki.
Poor Snooki: The only guys approaching her at Dream were "grenade grundle chodes." What is a grundle chode? What language is that?
Welcome to the '70s: The Situation tries to take a chick to the bathroom in the club to get freaky.
Hook ups: JWoww with her BF. The Situation with random girl at Dream.
DTS (down to snuggle): Snooki and Vinnie have a platonic night's sleep when JWoww is getting busy with her man. Angelina takes Jose in the smash room. He gets nada.
GTL: The Situation breaks it down -- "If you don't go to the gym, you don't look good. If you don't tan, you're pale. If you don't do your laundry, you got no cothes."
Lucky guy: After the boys GTL they arrive back at the suite to see that the girl the Situation tried to take to the bathroom found him and left her number on the door at the suite.