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Out and about: Intoxiskate

By Vanessa Brito

It's Tuesday, payday is still four days away and your boy toy wants to get out of the house.You only have $20, but you love the way that vintage shirt wraps around his mango-shaped biceps. If you have a quarter-tank of gas, head to Gold Coast Roller Rink for Intoxiskate.

For $6 apiece, you'll get in and get a pair of the best worn-out, clown shoe roller skates you've ever seen, and with the $8 you have left over, you can buy two drinks with healthy portions of liquor.

Roller skating is apparently an untapped talent in the gay community (especially the girls). At one point, a sweet, innocent lesbian chased a missing wheel from her skate, and if skating on three wheels isn't a hidden talent, I don't know what is.

If you were sheltered as a child and weren't allowed to listen to Gucci Crew and hold hands with your gay boyfriend at Hot Wheels, then you may not qualify as "best in skate" here, but for the most part, every gay person in this place rolls around fabulously. Plus, if you were one of those girls who would skate and booty dance with the boys in hopes of getting their older sisters to join you on the rink, then here's your chance for vindication.

If you're not the best skater, but you're a lesbian who likes the old-school freestyle femmes, request a class with the instructor. She's the hottest thing since Madonna's pilates poses in her high tube socks. The only thing that's not sexy is her boyfriend (sorry, man).

Tips for a great IntoxiSkate Tuesday: take your own skates, because as fun as this place is, the condition of the skates is a little scary; lesbians - take a few girlfriends, as boys tend to dominate the joint; don't spark conversation with the skate rental man, he'll probably burn you with his cigarette; if you end up getting a skating lesson from the instructor, give me a call and let me know how it goes - I'd like a referral.

Intoxiskate takes place Tuesdays, 8 p.m.-2 a.m. at Gold Coast Roller Rink, 2604 N. Federal Hwy., Fort Lauderdale; 954-547-3419. For more info, visit myspace.com/intoxiskate

Published: 5/08

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