UPDATE: Happy April Fool’s Day! (Tuesday, April 1, 5:23 p.m.)
Just when you thought that hip-hop and EDM ruled the South Beach sound systems, the owners of Mansion decide it’s time for a change and are closing the place, revamping and reopening sometime this summer as Rodeo (pronounced Row-day-oh like the swanky street in Beverly Hills), a “Miami-style country western line dancing” club, replacing bottle service with brewskies and self serve taps and building a full blown kitchen to accommodate resident chef, Blue Collar’s Danny Serfer, who will be cooking up Texas-sized “large plates” inspired by his favorite TV show, Dallas.
(Er, until now we thought line dancing at Mansion was something people did behind closed stalls in the bathroom. The end is surely nigh, no?)
We asked Mansion spokesperson Vanessa Menkes point blank if the Opium gang was actually smoking its namesake to which she replied, “Mansion has enjoyed a successful run on South Beach, but it’s time for a change and it’s time to fill a gaping void that has been neglected all these years in South Beach nightlife.” (Insert hoe-down joke here.)
Um, ok, but food too? “After so many years of people ordering pizzas through our VIP entrance, we decided it was time to add a kitchen of our own,” Menkes said.
Serfer, a Mansion regular, is thrilled. “It’s about time,” he said. Instead of commenting further, he replied with a sample menu of dishes that he’s planned for the rollicking new Rodeo:
Southfork Wedge Salad
2 heads of iceberg, 1 pound bacon, Texas sweet onion frizzlea ten thousand island dressing,
Cowboys on Horseback
One whole pineapple wrapped in country ham, stuffed with dates that are wrapped in bacon and stuffed with cheddar
Habanero and ghost chili glazed chicken wings coated in crushed red pepper flakes
Bourbon n Branch Braised Brisket
Served with Texas toast
Really Really Really Large Format Dinner (by 72-hours Notice Reservation Only)
Half a whole roasted cow or whole roasted veal, 5 pounds mashed potatoes, 3 pounds cream spinach , and a case of French fries (Note: if two people can finish in under three hours, dinner is on us)