Young socialite Erin Newberg answers your questions about dating, singledom and sex in Miami in her bi-monthly column, Singlesita. Email her your questions at ErinNewberg@aol.com.
I have been dating my boyfriend for three months now, and recently he wants to keep the lights off when we have sex. The sex isn’t bad – it’s just as good as before. When I tell him I want some light in the room, he just smiles, leans over and turns the light off. I am just wondering why, all of a sudden, the lights have to be off?
Dear Lightsita –
Ok, first of all, three months isn’t threes years – let’s be real! If you don’t want to be singlesita forever, you need to hear the hard cold truth and sometimes it’s not music to the ears. It may be time to change the channel. But if you like your station, maybe you just need to be a little more creative in the bedroom and compromise for the moment. It takes 2 to tango! You say “the sex isn’t bad.” Honey, sex should never be bad after three months. My advice to you is this – instead of putting out and feeling insecure, empower yourself. Take more control in the bedroom, let the inner vixen out that’s dying to come play and trust me, in no time, you’ll be doing it lights on, on top of the kitchen countertop!
Is it okay for women to approach men in the club or bar? My girlfriends say no, that it could send off the wrong signals of desperation or whore-ishness. What do you think?
First of all, who are these women or friends you are getting your advice from? Are they singlesitas? Ah-hem, secondly, men are sick and tired of always having to be the ones to approach women at clubs or bars with the same stupid lines. You don’t need to approach a guy and pick him in order to meet him. Why can’t you just smile or lock eyes? By doing this you are sending him a message that you find him attractive and are inviting him over to make the next move. Point of reference: one of my dearest friends just got married last week to the man who 3 months ago she locked eyes with at Prime112 over a glass of wine! This, darling, is by no means “whore-ishness.” It’s simply an elegant, no beat-around the bush approach to flirting. I like to call it Singlesita flirting 101.