In case you missed tonight’s episode when it orginally aired after the VMAs, here’s the scoop:
Vinnie’s family comes down to Miami and invades the suite, his mom filling the place with the savory smell of Italian culinary delights and his Uncle Nino filling it with unintelligible guido-isms. The gang fills up on course after course of food, taking breaks between meals to lie face down on their beds. They will definitely need an extra hour of cardio tomorrow.
The house is in an uproar after hearing about the Angelina/Vinnie hookup. The Situation is especially indignant and concludes Angelina is a whore, “She’s the Staten Island Ferry; she’s free and everyone can ride her.” Wait, did we hear that one already?
JWoww and Snooki head to News Cafe to dis Angelina. Snooki — “You got my sloopy seconds.”
The gang parties at Tantra again where Mike swoops in on Vinnie and steals the blond he was eyeing. Angelina ends up taking home another guy from Tantra. Mike appears to be correct about her.
Mike and Pauly D bring home some girls, who bail on them because they realize that they love their boyfriends too much to cheat. After that, the boys scramble to find some 6 a.m. booty calls. Only Pauly D is successful.
The next night the gang heads to Dream, which mysteriously has the same interior as B.E.D. Wait! It is B.E.D.! Word on the street in Miami is that Dream was the club where one of the cast members got into a brawl. Guess they couldn’t use any of that tape.
Pauly D and Vinnie fall in love with two girls they have determined to be wife material. They make plans to double date the following night and poor Vinnie gets stood up.
WTF: Why was Vinnie’s mom so worried about the cops pulling her over as she chatted with him on the phone?
The Situation’s Mathematics: By hooking up with the guy she hates and dismissing the nice guy “Angelina has proven the hoe equation.” Slut + gifts = no booty. Slut + guy she hates = booty.
Pauly D’s work ethic: “I don’t like working at the gelato store, but I kill it. We get all kinds of numbers in the jar. It’s like the tip jar.”
Something to aspire to: Uncle Nino is an OG — “Original Guido”.
Too funny: Uncle Nino calls The Situation Mike, The Sanitation.
Hot tub: The gang gets in the hot tub with Vinnie’s dirty old uncle. Uncle Nino can’t stop eying JWoww and Snooki’s implants. “I’m in heaven!”
Fist pumping: Tantra, Dream (actually B.E.D.)
Strategy with Pauly D: “You never want to have no chicks, so the best thing to do is line up a bunch of chicks, so we have two chicks on the burner.”
Poor guy: Situation can’t find one girl to pick up the phone for a 6 a.m. booty call. “I thought I was going to be smashing. Now I gotta go smash myself.”
Don’t hate the player: Ronnie tips his hat to Angelina’s skills at managing her men. “She’s a pimp.” He should know.
Mr. Morals: The Situation decides to tell Jose that Angelina hooked up with Vinnie. Luckily for Angelina, Jose thinks hooking up only involves kissing.
How poetic: Pauly D says to Vinnie, “We got a date with two of the rarest roses.”
Product intervention: Someone needs to tell Pauly D how cute he looks without the shellac in his hair. Tonight’s episode gives us a look at a freshly showered Pauly D. He’s much sexier with his hair au natural.
Why we love Vinnie: He jumps up and down like a kid when Ramona decides to go out to dinner with him.
Plastic cups: Vinnie drowns his sorrows with a red cup after getting stood up by Ramona.