The Jersey Shore – Season 2, Episode 5

The partying was at a minimum this week as hearts were broken and the weather was not cooperating (sorry, it rains down here sometimes, folks).

Snooki and JWoww head out to Deco Drive and encounter the party fest that is Gay Pride Week. They find a crew of gay boyfriends. “They made our night,” exclaims Snooki. 

The guys still hadn’t left Klutch. The Situation brings his A-game. “I’m hooking up with this girl, your girl’s girl and her girlfrind’s girlfriend’s girlfriend. You know, someone’s gotta do it!”

Back at the suite, Snooki drunk dials Emilio and tells him about partying with the gay guys. He’s not too stupid, however, to get jealous. “Gay guys don’t like vagina,” she assures him. Snooki’s had enough and hangs up on him, not before we hear Emilio say “I don’t miss you.”

The Situation’s macking skills at Klutch result in a surplus of ladies at the Metropole, requiring a crafty game plan so that each of the three boys gets his own bedwarmer. He is a skilled delegator, and everyone goes to bed accompanied and happy.

The boys make a ravioli feast for the house the next day and notice that Snooki is down in the dumps. “Whoever it is, give me their social security number and I’ll take care of it,” says Pauly D. What? Is he planning to ruin Emilio’s credit? A safe bet is that Emilio has beat Pauly D to that one already. The gang helps Snooki forget Emilio by watching as she burns all of his pictures. Not a tear was shed. 

The next day Sammi finds the note Snooki and Jenni wrote. She runs around the house asking her room mates to confirm its contents. Was Ronnie kissing girls at B.E.D.? Did he get some girl’s number at Klutch? Has she been made a fool of? 

Ronnie mans up and admits to everything, but alas, the damage is done. Sammi breaks up with him and to celebrate, he gets on the phone with his hometown sweetheart with poor Sammi within earshot. He will never learn….

Now the mystery in the house — who wrote the note? The boys decide they are going to GTF (Gym, Tan, Find out who wrote the note.)

No he didn’t: The Situation, trying to ditch his lady friend’s pudgy girlfriend so he could get romantic, “I put the hippo to bed, then i take Kristen to the smash room.” 

Insult with a side of fitness advice: After arguing about Angelina not helping out around the house The Situation screams, “Hit the treadmill! No, don’t even hit the treadmill, hit the elliptical. It’s better for you.” 

Boob obsession: JWoww is not at all happy with her plastic surgeon’s work as she spent a while pushing her huge implants together to create a better cleavage. If she needs some help, we have several good doctors down here that we could recommend. 

Word of the day: Sympathetic. “My room mates were all sympathetic. That’s a big word.” — Snooki. 

At least he’s honest: “I want you to know right now that I am doing absolutely no work today,” The Situation as he walks with Snooki and JWoww to the gelato store.  

Plastic cups: Sammi holding a red plastic cup when she confronts Ronni about the note. Contents of the cup unknown. 

Ronnie’s awesome deductive reasoning skills: “I read the letter and I see the word ‘wisely’ and I know Snooki doesn’t use that kind of vocabulary.”

Really?: “If it’s on paper, it’s true,” claims The Situation, referring to the contents of Sammi’s note. Wait until The Enquirer prints that he’s using ‘roids. Will the same logic apply? 



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