For the season finale, the gang takes a trip to the Everglades to see what Snooki calls “the crocodills” and has a close encounter with a baby croc, then heads over to Coopertown restaurant for some authentic Everglades cuisine, meaning fried froglegs. Mike upchucks his lunch on the drive back.
Pauly D, Vinny and Ronnie arrange date nights with their respective squeezes. Pauly D and Rocio want to try to keep the love going after he moves back to Jersey (too bad Rocio didn’t see all the girls he was trying to smush last episode). Vinny and Ramona decide to be thankful for the fun times, but end it there.
Ronnie and Sammi have a lame dinner at Tiramisu that ends abruptly when Sammi tells Ronnie she want him to be in it for the long haul, “I want you to be my boyfriend at all times.” Then the gang has their last hurrah at B.E.D. where Mike has his way with two girls at once in the bathroom.
The last evening in the house they play a game called “Most Likely.” This degenerates into an screaming match about who called who fake and who is the fakest. Fakeness is a heinous offense in The Jersey Shore because no one wanted to be caught calling another person fake. Pauly D goes postal on Snooki because she told Mike that he called him fake (“I could see the veins popping out on his neck,” notes Sammi).
Snooki starts sobbing because she thinks everyone hates her and Mike proves why he is, truly, the glue that holds this house together, by going outside to bring her back in with the group. The next day, backs are packed, and Miami can once again breath a sigh of relief.
Florida insects: “Bugs in the everglades are huge, they’re about the size of Snooki.” – Mike.
Still don’t know what this means: On his way to partying at B.E.D. Mike states, “We’re gonna get it in tonight!”
We’re going to miss this: Seeing Snooki dancing on the stripper pole. When does Season 3 start?
Two wrongs make a right: “Sometimes you mix two grenades and you might make one good-looking girl.” — Pauly D on having a threesome with two not-so-hot chicks.
More reasons we love Vinny: “When you actually have a good girl out there, say no to hoes.” — Vinny, about why he refused to have a threesome with the two grenades in B.E.D.
Jacuzzi encounters: Ron and Sammi have some romance. Pauly D screams at Snooki on the last night.
Mike, the hater: At family dinner he jokes, “Ron had some interesting time the first few weeks we were here.” Ronnie actually wipes sweat from his forehead, but doesn’t take the bait. “I could spin circles around him,” Ron says. Sure, Ronnie.
Finally: Vinny gets a tan, but the crew doesn’t like it because it’s from the sun and not a spray tan. “Vin’s tan, I can’t look that way,” says Ronnie.
Most likely to get skin cancer: Pauly D nominates himself.
Most likely to be a follower: Mike names Vinny. We don’t agree with you, Mike.
Most likely to be fake: Jenni calls Mike the fakest one, but she says someone else said it. This was what kicked off the house fight. These people are like kindergardeners.
Plastic cups: Snooki and Jenni are discussing fakeness and pull out the black plastic cups.
Snooki’s meltdown: “My blood pressure is off the roof.” Perhaps she means through the roof. Remember, she’s going to write a book!
Did we mention how much we love Vinnie: He comes into Snooki’s room and says, “You can trust me.” He is the sweetest.
Why Mike is the Alpha Dog: Mike goes and gets Snooki and throws her over his shoulder and brings her back in the house. “No issues!” And just like that, the beef is squashed.
Quote of the day: “Give the cat a meatball.” That was Mike, however, the context elludes me.
How was your trip to Miami, MIke?: “We’re healthy, not hurt, not handcuffed. That’s all that matters.”
The good byes: Ronnie leaves with Sammi. Sammi didn’t say good bye to Jenni. A crow quacks at Snooki (a bad sign). And everyone leaves. These people are a family the way people who get stuck in an elevator are family.
Adios: “It doesn’t hit you until you walk out the door. Man it’s really over.” – The Situation.