In tonight’s episode all rivalries seem to be forgotten in order for everyone to declare war on Angelina. The Situation gets his ears boxed by the Staten Island guidette and all the guys are in agreement that should she leave, they wouldn’t shed a tear.
Meanwhile, Snooki draws up a list of qualities for her ideal man and she and JWoww make it their mission to find the guy that “fistpumps, frolicks, smells good…likes pickles.”
Jenni tries to console Angelina, realizing that the girl has put up with (or caused?) a lot of drama since they moved down to Miami, but Angelina is evasive and won’t say whether she plans to leave the house or not.
The gang heads out for a night of fistpumping, extending Angelina an unvitation (you can come, but please don’t). She stays home to pack her bags, but for some foolish reason feels the need to say goodbye all the “fakers” who she has been living with for the past few weeks.
Snooki surprises Angelina by bringing home Alex (Angelina’s hook up from, like, six episodes ago) and the trash talking soon gets serious when Snooki takes off her earrings to give Angelina a goodbye beatdown. Ronnie observes, “It’s like beating up a baby. Her arms are like Tyrannasaurus Rex arms.” Snooki does hold her own and it turns out to be a good, two round smack down where nobody wins but the audience.
Really?: “Everybody knows that I’m the glue in this family and I try to keep everybody together,” The Situation states as he wonders why Angelina would dare pick a fight with him.
Highly debatable: “I’ve never had to deal with this much drama in my life,” Angelina whines, reflecting on the crisis in the house.
Double standards: “She brought all these random people home. You don’t do that you’re a girl!” — Pauly D.
T Shirt time: The guys battle cry gains several new verses in a stream of consciousness improvisation. They should do a salsa version.
Fist pumping: Klutch and Tantra. Snore….
Wonderful casting: The Situation’s Canadian hook up, Samantha, fits right in as she picks a fight with some innocent girl who dances up on the Situation while they are out at the club.
Hook ups: Mike and the Canadian, Samantha. He shows her what The Situation’s all “aboot”. Angelina hooks up with Jose on The Situation’s bed. No respect for personal property.
How old are we?: Here is the transcript of an argument between The Sitation and Angelina —
Angelina: Drop it!
Mike: Drop your big ass!
Angelina: Drop your ugly ass!
Gross: Pauly D finds and old ‘sangwich’ in the car. Ronnie almost hurls from the rancid smell.
Snookin’ for love: “What I would love to find is a guido, juicehead with my personality, with my style and is not a cheater. Can I find that somewhere? Cause I’m not going to go on Match.com again.”
Viva Miami!: How wonderful was it to watch Snooki pushing the Cuban stick mop across the terrace of the gelato store?
Dilemma: “I don’t want these people to think that they’ve won if I leave” — Angelina. Well Angelina, Mike’s on DWTS, Snooki’s writing a book (even though she thinks romantical is a word) and everyone is returning for Season 3. They won.
Phrase of the day: “All of yous in this house are fake!”
Confusing phrase of the day: Sammi to Angelina, “I never once said i never not liked you.”
Yes, you read right: Snooki is writing a book.