Reunited, and it feels so lame

BOY BANDS: The Backstreet Boys and New Kids on the Block announced new tour dates together. Too bad I’ll be out of town when they come to Miami (when is it again)?

LINDSAY LOHAN: The troubled starlet lost out her role in the Linda Lovelace biopic. Didn’t sound like such a good idea to play a porn star fresh out of rehab, anyway.

MILEY CYRUS: The Hannah Montana star celebrated her 18th birthday in a leather bra getting her neck sucked by teen star Avan Jogia. This is the end of the innocence.

COUPLES: The marriage between People’s Sexiest Man Alive Ryan Reynolds and GQ’s Babe of the Year Scarlett Johansson is said to be in trouble. Are they too sexy for each other?

KIM KARDASHIAN: The reality star is dating Halle Berry‘s ex, Gabriel Aubry. Doubt she’ll get points for recycling.

WILL FERRELL: The Megamind star topped Forbes’ most overpaid actor list. They say it like it’s a bad thing.

COURTNEY LOVE: The 46-year-old rocker tweeted half-naked pictures of herself. How un-Twittillating.

JUSTIN BIEBER: The 16-year-old singer swept the AMAs. Next year maybe he’ll be able to reach the microphone.

BILLY JOEL: The singer, 61, had double hip replacement surgery. Luckily, he can sit down when he plays the piano.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO: The Inception star’s Delta flight had to make an emergency landing due to engine failure. Ah, to be the passenger next to him when he thought he was going to die.

KAT VON D: The L.A. Ink star’s L.A. home burned down with her cat inside. That couldn’t have been a very happy Thanksgiving.


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