Wanna get freaky? Miami’s got plenty of stores that will indulge your inner perv, be it videos, sex toys, get ups or plain old condoms (always important!). So on the eve of the release of the next chapter in the BDSM love story for the ages, “Fifty Shades Darker,” we introduce you to the kinkiest shops in Miami.
Once you get over the dizzying array of whips, wigs and risqué French maid costumes (who knew peeps were so into role playing these days?), head over to the counter and ask one of the incredibly helpful ladies working the register what’s the newest in vibes these days. Like us, you may wind up with a We-Vibe ($199). Did we mention it targets the G-spot and clitoris and syncs to your smartphone via an app? Um, yas.
No we aren’t talking about the epic TV series with Don Johnson. We’re talking about the adult pleasure emporium nestled in Palmetto Bay, fellow pervs. Coveted for its crème de la crème of pornography, scoop up Miami’s Vice’s number 1 seller, The Rabbit ($69 — gotta love that price, eh?). Also worth noting? The boutique offers a free gift-wrapping station and ladies receive 20 percent off everything in the store on Wednesdays. Happy, er, Hump Day.
Caliente, like hot. Get it? This spot, located in the heart of Hialeah, is equipped with a Toy Sample Station that encourages customers to get up close and personal with the goods. But you can get your hands on all kinds of kinkiness, from bondage kits (like the one above), to latex get-ups, lingerie and essential oils.
Lingerie? Check. Costumes and swimwear? Check and check. Blinged-out body jewelry? Ditto on that. “We carry a little bit of everything and we even hosts parties here,” Le Beauty Room Owner Tavia Serrano says. Racy thongs and bras aside, the best seller here are the corsets — hello, hourglass figure!
Yes, we know you can get all the porn you want on the internet. But this shop, located near the Miami International Airport, has thousands of videos and video booths for the bold explorers as well as live shows with girls right out of your wildest fantasies. It is, indeed, a perv’s playground.
2657 NW 36th Street, Miami; 305-638-4957
The last thing you expect when visiting an adult store is being greeted with orientation classes about how to prevent diseases and safe sex. That’s what makes Condom USA different from other adult stores. Located in Coconut Grove, this place is packed with a rainbow of condoms, edible underthings, lubes and lotions, and toys and accessories of all manner. The staff can help you with the “selection” process, depending on your needs: size, color, texture and, ahem, flavor.
3066 Gran Ave., Coconut Grove; 305-445-7729
Pleasure Emporium has been in the business of adult videos for years. Like others stores, they offer the possibility to watch videos in private booths. Want to play? Pleasure Emporium has a wide variety of sexual toys like the popular ‘Pocket Rocket’, a remote control vibrator.
1019 5th St, Miami Beach; 305-673-3311
You’ve got to love an adult store that goes above and beyond. And by “above and beyond,” we mean your credit card statement will read “The Depot.” LOL. The buzz-y (pun intended) items here? Wet Silk lube ($7.99) and the Luxe Purity G vibrator ($26).