You knew it was going to happen. Like having to pay your taxes, renew your license or go for a physical: Jersey Shore is back.
Why in the world should you tune in?
Well, for one, the MTV hit is now based in South Beach, so you may recognize some landmarks (or not; the crew hit some pretty lowbrow places).
Second, it’s a bonafide cultural phenomenon — some 4.8 million people watched Jersey Shore at the end of the first season. We can only wonder how many will sit through Season 2. Maybe more. Yes.
Third, the motley cast is a true collection of colorful characters. Snooki, Mike (The Situation), Jenni (JWoww), Pauly D, Sammi (Sweetheart), etc. — are such over the top throwbacks that you can’t believe they exist.
But they do — and thrive. Even little Snooki — arguably the most fascinating cast member due to her stunning lack of sense of self — was just profiled in The New York Times Style section.
Fourth, the cast’s outmoded catchphrases have trickled into our collective vocabulary. Who can get ready for a night out senza a little GTL action? And try throwing around words like “pouf” (gelled out hair) “juicer”(a roided out gym rat) and “creep” (to cruise for chicks). It’s fun.
Don’t know the first thing about our former SoBe residents? Here’s a primer:
Vinny Guadagnino: Known as the Quiet One with a wild side, he mostly sits back and observes. Smart man.
Angelina “Jolie” Pivarnick: Snooty and standoffish, the sexy bartender won’t be back for season 3. This isn’t The Hills: Diva behavior won’t work here.
Paul “DJ Pauly D” Delvecchio: Mousse is the word. A true neatnik who probably smells really good.
Jenni “JWOWW” Farley: This brash club promoter-fashion designer with a tendency for violence gets the rest of the house a little nervous. Miami, you were warned.
Ronnie Magro: Also a tad violent (he was arrested back in Jersey for aggravated assault), this muscleman’s a softie at heart.
Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi: The free spirited formerly high haired one has a penchant for getting drunk and throwing up. Oh, and she loves hot tubs. A must for all guidos and guidettes.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino: This buff businessman has cashed in on his strange fame, with an app, cologne, workout video and book. Yes, he can read and write! This isn’t the last we’ve heard of Sitch.
Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola, 23: Don’t let the nickname fool ya. The hard partyer was slapped with felony assault charges in May after allegedly punching a patron at Club Dream. The charges were dropped because she
left town. Ciao, bella!