Celebrity News: The Week That Was

JON GOSSELIN: The dad from Jon and Kate Plus 8 dad got a 9-5 job. The whole sperm donor thing wasn’t working out too well.

OWEN WILSON: The actor named his baby Robert. He’ll only get teased by the Hollywood kids.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA: The pop tart passed out in Jeremy Renner‘s bed. We know she doesn’t eat porridge, so what was she doing there?

ANNE HATHAWAY: The actress was cast as Catwoman in the new Batman movie, Dark Knight. Black leather is always a good look.

RICKY GERVAIS: The host of the Golden Globes said he doesn’t regret offending everybody. His agent does, though.

BRISTOL PALIN: The former Alaska’s governor daughter won’t use her ex Levi Johnston‘s last name for their son Tripp anymore. That’s a start to purging him from our lexicon.

MEL GIBSON: Bad news: Prosecutors may charge the actor with domestic violence. Good news: His latest movie, The Beaver, isn’t as horrible as the name would suggest.

GEORGE CLOONEY: The hunk told Piers Morgan he had malaria while visiting Sudan. Lucky mosquito.

CATHY CRUZ MARRERO: A clip posted on YouTube of a woman who fell into a fountain while texting at a Pennsylvania mall got more than 3 million hits. We all need intense help.

MACAULEY CULKIN: The former child star has rebounded from his breakup with Mila Kunis with a porn star. Hey, don’t knock it; Charlie Sheen‘s career is hotter than ever.

MONICA: The singer confirmed she married Los Angeles Lakers player Shannon Brown. That boy is hers, hers, hers. For the time being, anyway.

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