Whether you know Adam Carolla from his days opposite Dr. Drew giving snarky advice to callers on the show “Loveline,” or heard him yukking it up with celebrity guests on his podcast, or read his hilarious rants in his new book, “In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks” – you can’t deny the man is funny. Even if you’re female. If you’re not familiar with his style of humor, find out what all the hype is about at his show at 8 p.m. March 3 at the Colony Theater in Miami Beach. Carolla – who’ll be doing stand-up as part of the annual South Beach Comedy Festival – talked to Miami.com about the show.
What attracted you to the festival?
What happened was, we had some shows in Miami that we ended up scrubbing for various reasons, and we wanted to get to that part of the country. The timing wasn’t right last time around, and this time was perfect. I don’t think we’ve been to Miami to perform all last year, so actually the world is our oyster over there. Some of these clubs and venues we’re coming back to for the second or third time, you can’t do the same thing you did the time before. But Miami – you guys are gonna get the best of the best stuff. No experimental stuff here.
What can we expect from your set? Who are you gonna make fun of?
I never think of it that way. I just think of it as, I’m gonna say whatever I’m gonna say whenever I’m gonna say it. Sometimes it’ll be about people, sometimes it’ll be about things. I never picture those people or things with me. Because if I did, I’d never be free to say what I have to say.
So do you not plan your sets much?
Well, the way we do it is we have these vignettes, I guess you’d call it, like a band has a set list. Maybe the band has more songs than they’re gonna use any given night. And you sort of talk to the drummer and mix it up a little bit, figure out what you did, what’s working well.
Will we hear some material from your book?
Well, it’s interesting because sometimes I find myself talking about stuff that’s in there and then I realize a certain percentage of people have already read that, so then they’ve already heard it. But then I think, yeah, but they’ve heard it in their own head, in their own voice – they’ve never heard ME do it. So I can’t figure out whether it’s good or bad, cheating or what. But either way, it all sort of comes from the same brain, so it’ll be some of that stuff or something that reminds you of that stuff or something that sounds like that stuff. Same chef, different ingredients.
How often do people call you misogynistic?
My wife has limited it to about five times a week, so [laughs}. You know what’s weird is, I kind of heard it a few times when the book first came out, but since then, not really. I don’t know, maybe there’s just too many syllables in it or something.
What made you want to go on "Dancing With the Stars”?
I didn’t want to do it. This business is a little different than sometimes people think. You know, Shannen Doherty didn’t wanna write a book – someone came up to her and said here’s some money, write a book. And here’s a little bit more money, and she said OK I’ll write a book. She did a bunch of interviews after, and people asked why she wanted to write a book, and she goes: "Well, growing up where I grew up, and having all these ideas and thoughts …” But it’s really just BS – someone comes up to you and goes, hey, do you wanna do this? And you go, how much? In the case of "Dancing With the Stars,” someone came up to me and asked if I want to do it. And I didn’t really even care about the money – I didn’t even know they paid you, really. But my first reaction was to be scared to death, and then I thought maybe that’s a good thing. If your first reaction is being scared to death, and it doesn’t have to do with an animal, then maybe you should do it.
So how was the experience for you?
It was really life-affirming, or something. It was really an interesting experience. I don’t know what to compare it to – boot camp, or two-a-days in football, or something. I would recommend it to anyone who has a dancing interest, because you’ll never get that chance again, never have that kind of adrenaline rush ever again. I don’t really know how to describe it other than I’m glad I did it.
Do you ever miss "Loveline”?
Yeah, we just did a live show last night, and we had Dr. Drew out onstage and yeah, I do miss doing that show, and I miss sitting next to him. Not on a daily basis, but … I’m trying to think if "miss” is the right word. I don’t think about it that often, but once I do get in a room with Drew, there’s sort of a sense of familiarity or home – it’s easy, you know? I don’t know if I miss the show or just trading ideas with Drew.
So you guys are still pretty close?
Yeah, we talk quite a bit, and I just saw him last night, and we were a day apart on "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader?” [chuckles]. So yeah, as much as two guys with busy schedules can do it, yeah.
You’re an L.A. guy. What do you think of Miami?
I’ve been there a couple times and I like it a lot. I mean, of course, when you go to Miami to go to the Super Bowl, or go to some event, then obviously you’re not working as a meat inspector on the wrong side of town. That guy probably has a different perspective than I do. For me, it seems pretty cool to watch hot chicks on in-line rollerblades and drink fruity drinks, and people look good with their shirts off, and strolling around getting drunk and eating food. So to me, it’s seems awesome. I’m sure there are cops who work in Dade County who can paint a different picture, but I’ll never see that side of it. I guess it’s like the people that visit Disneyland versus the ones who work in the Matterhorn.