7 Valentine’s Day Presents That Don’t Suck at Life

Stumped on what to buy your lover for Valentine’s Day? Duh, of course you are.

Here we recommend gifts that communicate exactly what is in your heart. It might get a little weird, but don’t worry ladies and gents, We GOT THIS.

1. I want you to be warm and I secretly love mermaids

mermaid blanket

If she’s secretly a mermaid (um, what Miami gal isn’t?), this Missguided pink mermaid tail blanket ($45) will keep her toasty and feeling right at home… when she’s not out at sea, natch.

2. You are so fly you don't need to match

taco earrings

If they’re the peas to your carrots… the Batman to your Robin… the salt to your pepper… then they’re the hot sauce to your taco, obvi. Nothing says “a perfect match” quite like these mismatched earrings ($20).

3. You are so sweet I need you to sit in front of the TV for a while

sega genesis

If you weren’t able to get your claws on the throwback Nintendo Classic he or she wanted for Christmas, redeem yourself with another nostalgic game system: Sega Genesis ($68). We apologize in advance if they abandon you for a Sonic the Hedgehog marathon.

4. I love you so much I don't want you to drown


Beach, please! Swan inner tunes are so 2016. Show ’em you love ’em with this jumbo heart-shaped inner tube ($24).

5. My sweet, sweet baby, please stop asking me dumb questions

google home

“Ok, Google, what’s perfect gift for the guy or gal that seemingly has it all?” The Google home ($129) device, of course. Giving Siri and Alexa a run for their money, this hands-free/voice-activated gadget allows you to listen to music, manage tasks, control smart devices and more simply by uttering the words — you guessed it — “Ok, Google.”

6. I know it makes you sad when flowers die

airplant jellyfish

Roses shrivel up and die. Same goes for fresh-cut tulips. Welp. But this trio of air plant jelly fish ($33), live a loooong time. The even better news? They’re notoriously easy to care for, too. #Winning

7. Bae, please moisturize


The folks at European Wax Center not only want you to have neat brows and an organized downstairs, but they outright refuse to let you have crocodile skin. Their line of skin care products is just thing to make your hairless gams shine bright like a diamond.