Corey Haim image

My best birthdays always involved a backyard swimming pool, a Publix cake with plastic Barbie or My Little Pony figurines squished into thick pink or purple icing, a sleepover that involved watching movies starring Corey Haim and a pancake breakfast the next morning with my best pre-teen bee-otches.

Now, I celebrate my birthday by disappearing. Throwing a party in my honor would mean having to pour beer swill into the sink when I'd rather be sleeping (or having someone else driving me home), and inviting friends out to dinner would mean forcing them to shell out cash in my honor, which, in this economy (a phrase I'm starting to use as much as old people throw out "when I was your age"), seems obnoxious. So yeah, I just go away.

But when it comes to celebrating someone else's birthday, I'm all for a party. Which is why I'm stoked isn't just having one party for its one-year anniversary, it's having a whole mf month of parties. Because that's how we roll. We wanted to have something for everyone, so this month expect to find us partying it up at nightclubs, hotel bars, lounges, restaurants and in Matt Damon's house. Okay, maybe not Matt Damon's house.

First up is The Vagabond Saturday (Feb 7) night. Back Door Bamby is presenting the Shameless Burlesque show, which probably means beaded thongs and bedazzled pasties (or vice versa). So that's a reason right there to come. But wait, there's more! What are pasties without booze? RSVP here and get a wristband for two hours of free vodka drinks from 10-midnight, courtesy of V Georgio vodka. And the day after (that would be Sunday), we'll be at the Ritz-Carlton South Beach for their full moon party. The first 100 of you who show up get special drink, um, specials from 6-7 p.m.

We've got lots more fun stuff planned, but if I listed it all here right now you wouldn't even be able to work because you would be constantly thinking about all the cool events you'll be going to over the next few weeks. And we wouldn't want you to get fired or anything.

Not in this economy.

-- miaeditor