Hammers, Cookies & Rose, Vol. 2
A satirical look at what's happening in Miami (because you can't look at porn at work).
By Hammers, Cookies & Rose
This week, promising young forward Michael Beasley sent Heat Nation into hysteria with his Twitpic displaying his super cool back ink and ham sandwich still wrapped in a plastic baggie (what, you thought it was something else?) in the background.
So to get to the heart of the story, we shined up our press badges (they've been on the shelf since the Sage Rosenfels era) and interviewed the top sports figures in South Florida via Twitter. Here's what they Tweeted back:
@gonein2010 (Heat superstar Dwyane Wade): "I call trademark on the nickname D-Weed. Oh wait, we're talking about Beasley?"
@threepeat (Heat coach Pat Riley): "I don't care who he tweeted as long as she didn't give him any STDs. We're gonna need him at the four-spot this season."
@reallythecoach (Heat coach Erik Spoelstra): "I just want to introduce myself as the head coach of the Miami Heat, I replaced Pat Riley. Anyone, anyone?"
@imassage34 (Dolphins running back Ricky Williams): "Hey Mike, I'll hang onto that bag for ya while you're in rehab. I think there's room in my sock drawer."
@supercoolbeas (Former Panthers goalie John Vanbiesbrouck): "You stole my tattoo idea."
@visitmexico (Donte' Stallworth): "Eh, it could be worse...."
@bernie420 (Bernie, the Heat mascot): "Man, I hope this doesn't ruin my hookup now. It's hot in that costume. But seriously Godspeed, Mike"
Note: The views expressed by Hammers, Cookies & Rose are not reflective of Miami.com management (nor most people, for that matter).