Pitbull is now a UN ambassador for clean water. Can he clean up Florida, too?

Pitbull is being honored for being even more worldwide than usual.

Miami’s favorite Grammy-winning entertainer heads to the United Nations in New York City on March 22, World Water Day, to be named Clean Water Here Ambassador, according to the Miami Herald.  The UN will award him the 2018 World Water Champion Award for leading a social media campaign that raises awareness of the crisis.

We are happy for Pitbull. But before he was international, he was Mr. 305. He IS Miami. And as such we’d love to see him tackle some issues a little closer to home. There are so many things he could accomplish as Special Ambassador to Make Miami Slightly Less Insane.

Endorse a new state motto for Florida

Look, “In God We Trust” is nice and all, but we prefer the pithier “Dale!

Halt the iguana invasion

Pitbull can act as Pied Piper and lead the iguanas out of South Florida.

Florida is under siege. And we desperately need a better solution to combat them than waiting for random and elusive cold weather.

Bring croquetas to the masses

Croquetas are a miracle.

Why don’t more people in this fine country of ours know that croquetas are the perfect food? As Croqueta Ambassador Pitbull could bring news of the salty bites of joy to faraway places like Kansas, South Dakota and Tallahassee. He could even tantalize our neighbors with lurid tales of the croqueta cake.

Lobby to have Hialeah named state capital

Hialeah is a national treasure.Roberto Koltun

Does Tallahassee have a Nooo Que Barato? I don’t think so.

End Florida Man syndrome

Stupidity is a daily, if not hourly, problem here in South Florida. It’s everywhere. It’s seen on South Beach, where people occasionally ride a horse into a club. And in Miami, where drivers trying to flee a hit-and-run accident are then confronted by sledgehammer wielding passersby. An ambassador like Pitbull advocating for brain usage could help turn things in the direction of sensible. Maybe.

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