It’s Friday the 13th. Here are the unluckiest things that could happen to you in Miami

We’re not superstitious or anything, but it’s Friday the 13th, so we’re a little worried.  This is Miami, after all, where life has a way of going sideways quickly.

There are many unlucky things that can happen to you on Friday the 13th in Miami. Here are just a few of them. We hope you experience none of these horrors today and that if you do, the shock and pain pass swiftly.

You order croquetas for a party, but they turn out to be cod, not ham.

croquetas

For the first time in history, there are enough croquetas at the party.

Your employer makes an announcement that your offices are moving to Doral

Wherever you live, your new commute looks like this.

You finally got a Friday off to go to the beach – and Crandon Park has a poop-in-the-water warning

It only looks idyllic.

A co-worker makes a coffee run, and you ask for a cortadito. She gets it – at the Starbucks ventanita

Carlos Frias (Miami Herald)

This is not your abuelita’s cortadito.

You’re heading home from work to start your weekend – and run into a Very Special Episode of Critical Mass

Meet your new worst enemies.

There’s a crash on the Palmetto/836/I-95, traffic is backed up for miles and you miss happy hour at Flanigan’s

Paying full price for liquor is a travesty.

Your favorite Publix sub maker is off, and the new guy forgets to shake the pickles

Soggy bread? NOOOOOOOOOOO.

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