If 'Game of Thrones' took place in Miami

If you’re a diehard “Game of Thrones” fan, this past episode-free Sunday probably felt more brutal than the Red Wedding. The withdrawal is setting in and while we have to wait a full year to figure out the future of Westeros, we can stop obsessing. 


We’re drinking the Kool-Aid—or shall we say Tyrion’s wine—and have been analyzing George R.R. Martin’s twisted plot that toys with our emotions oh so well. At the end of the day, Miami is our kingdom—are we really that different from the Westerosi? Here’s what would go down if “Game of Thrones” took place in the 305. 


Warning: Spoilers Ahead



Jon Snow may know nothing, but we sure know he’d look a lot hotter without that heavy armor. 

 

Case in point: 


 

Spending the night at LIV only to be harassed by pick-up lines and cat calls? 


We could all take all take a page from Arya Stark’s play book:  


“A girl has no name.” DONE. 

Everyone wants to be on the Iron Throne—this was essentially the plot for “Real Housewives of Miami.” 


We may not have dragons, but we can bring the Heat. 

Khal Wade, our sun and stars.

Who needs the Mountain when we have the Rock? 

Ser Gregor Clegane may be a bit more monstrous than usual, but let’s not forget our favorite “baller.”  

You think White Walkers are scary? Try people on flakka. 

 

Daeneris needs ships? We got you, girl. 

 

Let’s be honest, Dany would have been on the Iron Throne in the first season if she were a Floridian. 

 

 

If North Miami Beach is Winterfell, Brickell is definitely King’s Landing. 

 


 

Abuela always has your back.

Olenna Tyrell knows best. 

A fresh haircut and blowout gives us life, too.

 

*Cough*Cough* We’re talking about you, Jon Snow.

 


 

For the day is hot and full of traffic. 

By the time you get to your destination, Daeneris will have made her way to King’s Landing. 

Let’s face it: Winter is NEVER coming.

 

We can rest easy, right? 


Comments

Thanks for checking out our new site! We’ve changed a ton of stuff, and we’d love to know what you think.
Email feedback