Here in Miami, we are grateful that the full fury of Hurricane Irma was not unleashed on us.
But we do have a few bones to pick with her. She caused destruction and havoc – but not to any of the things we wanted.
Here’s what we wish she would have taken out:
They haunt our dreams, and nothing else kills them in bulk. Maybe Irma could have tried harder.
Yes, we know some of you love South Florida’s big, colorful lizards, but they are an imported nuisance, and there are way too many of them. Also, they poop on your pool deck.
3. Your neighbor's ugly fountain
Not even hurricane force winds can wipe out so much ugly.
4. Your dumb yacht that we will never be invited to board
That goes for you, too, Mark Cuban.
5. Every mango tree in the county
A lot of them went down. But not enough. [Editor’s note: No one else at Miami.com agrees with this one; the author is a well-known anti mango activist.]
6. The Miami Marlins' home run statue
The county won’t let new owner Derek Jeter bulldoze it. If only he’d left the stadium roof open.