Dear Spring Break horde:
We are glad you enjoy our beaches and the lovely weather we are having (it’s pretty cold up north these day, huh?). We appreciate your investment in giant, brightly colored cocktails. We love how you support our local hotels, even if you stick four people in a single room.
Whatever! We were young once, too!
We are glad you get to put your bikinis and board shorts and party like you don’t need those brain cells when you go back to school in a week.
But do us all a favor and stop all this dangerous twerking, please.
The Miami New Times reported about a young reveler pouncing on a Miami Beach Police ATV to get in a few twerks before the officers rolled out.
not today 😂 pic.twitter.com/7USDzgeoBv
— rachh. (@rachhdionn) March 12, 2017
Luckily, the young lady was unharmed in the twerking incident.
Another dangerous twerking episode was captured on the MacArthur Causeway and tweeted by local documentary film maker Billy Corben, which shows a woman twerking through the hood of a car, likely warming up on her way to join fellow Spring Breakers in their twerkfest.
— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) March 14, 2017
Twerking at high speed on a Miami expressway is a no-no per the rules of twerking etiquette. This young woman should be thankful that she was not harmed in the pursuit of mobile twerking street cred.
It’s not worth it, guys.
So, please act like you have some sense and twerk in the designated twerking areas, which is basically all of Miami. Except on top of moving vehicles.
Everyone in Miami