Five signs spring has sprung in Miami

The first official day of spring is March 20, but here in South Florida we know winter is already behind us. Days are longer. There are fewer out-of-state license plates.  We’re turning on the a/c more frequently and counting down the days until (sob) stone crab season ends.

Don’t believe me? Here are five signs spring is upon us.

Every palm frond and every leaf that used to be on every tree is now in your pool.

The mockingbird attacks have begun.

Walk outside – and duck and cover.  The mockingbirds come screaming out of the sky like tiny fighter jets, protecting their nests by dive bombing humans who haven’t had enough coffee yet. Listen, birds, we don’t want your babies. We’re just trying to get to our cars to begin a hard day’s commute to a job we don’t want to be at anyway.

Two words: Mango blossoms.

The lubbers are back.

Sure, the eastern lubber grasshoppers are tiny and kind of cute right now. In a month, they will be huge, fist-size aliens gobbling every plant in your yard (except, tragically, mango blossoms). They have no natural predators and will turn your organic garden into a desolate wasteland.

Young people are twerking on the highways.

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