Even if ‘La La Land’ beats ‘Moonlight’ at the Oscars, Miami still beats L.A.

There are nine movies nominated for Best Picture at the upcoming 2017 Oscars, but we all know where the true battle lies at the Academy Awards on Feb. 26. Sure, “Fences” has Denzel and Viola, and “Manchester By the Sea” made us cry ugly, and who doesn’t like Chris Pine in cowboy boots?

But the real showdown is between “La La Land” vs. “Moonlight.” Los Angeles vs. Miami. Their movie vs. ours. Vapid fantasy vs. gritty reality. West Coast vs. East Coast. Traffic jams vs … traffic jams.

Tender coming of age story versus…

bad dancing? 

We have some things in common. A nearby Hollywood. Avocados. An overabundance of Botox. And both films are critically adored. But even if “Moonlight” can’t beat “La La Land” for best picture – though it should – here’s what Miami still has over L.A.

1. We did that “La La Land” opening number with people dancing around on cars first.

Oh, yes, we did. In “Step Up Revolution,” the Citizen Kane of dance movies, filmed right there on Ocean Drive.

4. We have mangoes!

We have mangoes, and L.A. doesn’t! Wait. L.A wins that round. Never mind.

6. We have more impressive critters.

L.A. has coyotes. Nice try. We have giant pythons that can survive in salt water, flesh-eating screwworms that turn deer into zombies, iguanas the size of goats, roaches that outweigh a Bichon Frise and possess the ability to fly, plus giant prehistoric gators that can climb fences. Also we have the drivers on the Palmetto.