Miamians are some of the most unique people you will ever meet. We do things differently than most, and we’re unapologetically “us.” In fact, we’re such special snowflakes that it’s often difficult to interpret our behavior. But fear not, fair reader! With our handy Miami Behavior Translator (patent pending), you’ll never again have to wonder why your neighbor is spending hours banging pots and pans together.
Miami Behavior: Incessant honking the second a traffic light turns green
Meaning: We’re already running stupid late to any of the following: our second cousin’s quinces, our latest laser hair removal appointment, a boozy brunch.
Miami Behavior: Banging pots and pans together
Meaning: Fidel Castro has finally perished, one of our major sports teams has won a championship, a young boy was just sent back to Cuba.
Miami Behavior: Overdressing for any and every occasion
Meaning: We’re all about movin’ and shakin’, both literally and metaphorically. Since this is a town built on seeing and being seen, there’s no room aboard the hot mess express.
Miami Behavior: Busting out the winter gear when it dips below 70 degrees
Meaning: We’re literally freezing. (Don’t judge).
Miami Behavior: Drinking at least three espressos/coladas a day
Meaning: This is our literal fuel. How are we expected to function otherwise?
Miami Behavior: Greeting you with a kiss on the cheek
Meaning: We never learned the meaning of personal space, handshakes are too informal, we’re not emotionless monsters.
Miami Behavior: Cutting you off in traffic
Meaning: Inherently, we’re assholes.
Miami Behavior: Purchasing food or flowers from street vendors
Meaning: You think we’re gonna find mamoncillos at Publix? Plus, we never EVER knock the hustle. Rick Ross taught us better than that.
Miami Behavior: Hashtagging Instagram pics with “I live where you vacation”
Meaning: I live where you vacation.