11 things Miamians do when it’s 55 degrees outside

It’s getting cold in Miami – really. Below 60 degrees around these parts is serious, bro! So here is what we do in Miami when the temps drop:

 

 

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1. Bust out the parkas and the boots!

You know you have last season’s winter lines that were on sale at Burlington Coat Factory that you’re eager to show the world … now’s your time, baby! The sidewalk is your runway. WORK!

 

 

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2. Turn on the Heater (yes, the A/C also serves as the Heater, sometimes)

Sure, it might blow sulfur-infested air and stink up the house for the first 30 minutes, but just wait for it … wait for it … now you can take your double layer sweaters off and prance around in your boxers like normal.

 

 

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3. Your Iced Latte is now HOT Latte

You might burn your tongue a bit from the scalding 120 degree temperature of your Grande Nonfat 2-Pump Caramel Macchiatto, but boy … sure does taste like a winter wonderland in your mouth!

 

 

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4. Do NOT go to any night-time events because it’s too friggin cold!

And so what if this event is held indoors; still doesn’t help that it’s 55 degrees outside!

 

 

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5. Contemplate not even going into work because, s#!t – it’s 55 degrees out there!!!

We’ve been there. The Northeast has Snow Days … Miami has “Cold Days.”

 

 

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6. Contemplate leaving work early because, s#!t – it’s 55 degrees out there!!!

See note above.

 

 

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7. Socks with Flip Flops are acceptable with these extreme conditions

No one can fashion-police this crap. It’s too cold to even think about what’s okay and what’s not okay anymore.

 

 

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8. That Hermes scarf you bought for $2K is now justified

FINALLY! Wear that damn scarf to the bathroom; to your grandma’s house; to your PTA Meeting (definitely to your PTA Meeting); to bed; to wherever. That thing is getting stapled to your neck.

 

 

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9. Reminisce about when you used to live in New York City

and how 55 Degrees was like “Nuthun’” and how you used to wear shorts and a tank top and go swimming in this weather … then you shut the f**k up and put on your wool mittens and drink your hot cafe con leche and bitch about how you wanna leave work early cos it’s 55 degrees out there!!!

 

 

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10. That fireplace in your living room that you use to store your booze might come in handy now

OK, so maybe you don’t know anything about working a fireplace but hell, it’s worth a try. (Please note: you MUST buy proper fire-logs from Home Depot; do not think your empty pizza box can serve as a a good alternative to wood.)

 

 

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11. Speaking of booze – drinking only Reds, please.

Save the $7.99 bottle of Rose for later and stick with the 2 Buck Chuck from Trader Joe’s. That’ll warm you up QUICK!

 

 

Did we miss anything? Let us know in the comments!

 

Related: 11 things to do when you move to Miami

 

 

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